Archive for the ‘Weekly Mood Uplift’ Category

Share the healing and the laughter!

We can all use a little smile or chuckle to start off our week, right?

Pass this forward to all of your friends and don’t forget to join our mailing list so you can have your chuckle delivered directly to your email account.

Warmly,

Rose

PS. If you would like to share a clean funny story
I’d love to receive it!
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Golden Telephone

While on vacation in Rome, a man notice       
a marble column in St. Peter’s with a golden telephone on it.

As a young priest passed by, the man asked who the telephone was for. The priest told him it was a direct line to heaven, and if he liked to call it would cost a thousand dollars. He was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Italy, he kept seeing the same golden telephone on a marble column. At each, he asked about it and the answer was always the same: it was a direct line to heaven and he could call for a thousand dollars.

Then – he continued his tour and arrived in Israel. He decided to
attend temple services at a local synagogue. When he walked in
the door he noticed the golden telephone. Underneath it there
was a sign stating: “DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN: 25 cents”

“Rabbi,” he said, “I have been all over Italy and in all the cathedrals I visited, I’ve seen telephones exactly like this one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it that this one is only 25 cents?”

The rabbi smiled and said, “You’re in Israel now. It’s a local call.”

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Gone Fishing
Shared by: Sarah Hoagland

One morning a husband returned  after several hours of fishing and
decided to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decided to take the boat out.

She motored out a short distance, anchored, and began reading her book.

Along came a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning,  Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informed her.

“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment.  For all I know you could start at any moment.  I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” said the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment…”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” he said as he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.  It’s likely she can also think.

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I heard from many of you last week who enjoyed the lips on the mirror story.
I love feedback so keep it coming!

I hope you get a chuckle from  this one.

Warmly,
Rose
Your Trusted Mood Remedy Advisor

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The 80 Year Old Bride

A local news station was interviewing
an 80-year-old lady because
she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked the new bride questions about her life, what it felt like to be marrying again at 80 and about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” the bride answered.

“Interesting,” the reporter thought.

He then asked if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little bit about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments needing to reflect on all those years.  After a short time, she answered proudly. She explained that she had married a banker when she was in her early 20′s,
then a circus ringmaster when in her 40′s,
a preacher in her 60′s and now in her
80′s a funeral director.

She smiled and explained, ” I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.

Found in Mundy’s Bimonthly Miracles Magazine
www.miraclesmagazine.org